Humans are social creatures – we go through great pains to avoid conflict. Unfortunately, avoidance is not always an option available to you as a leader. When you must broach a difficult topic, use these three techniques to address it in a productive way.

Be clear about your intentions.

Every conflict has its root in a misunderstanding. Before you sit down at the table, be absolutely clear about these three aspects:

  • What do you want to achieve from the conversation?
  • What do you want for the person with whom you will speak?
  • How does it affect the organization?

The answers to these questions should form the basis of your conversation. Everything that you say and do during the interaction must be based around these core conclusions. While it helps you stay on message, asking these questions also clarifies your own motivations to you.

Know the facts and share them.

Preparation is everything. Eliminate any possibility of the conversation descending into a “he said-she said” affair by having the facts ready in front of you. Instead of beginning with the decision that you have made, present the information that led you there. Lay out the gist of your rationale with the data and paperwork in a way that leaves nothing to interpretation. This may require some homework, but it is an investment of time and effort that will be crucial for achieving what you want from the conversation. Very often, people will embrace your point of view when it is presented in a detached, unemotional way.

Keep an open mind.

Convincing yourself that you are right is probably the easiest task in the world. When you have the facts that support your conclusions in front of you, it can be even harder to entertain the possibility that you might be mistaken. However, there are always two sides to every story. Rather than only pushing the narrative that supports your conclusions, consider the other person’s perspective, too. After you have presented your side, be prepared to listen. Consider whether the interests of the organization will be better served if you change your stance. This may seem difficult at first but it is a characteristic of a true leader.

Difficult conversations are one of the most challenging facets of a leadership journey. These three strategies simply turn them into learning opportunities for everyone involved. Please contact me today if you have any questions.